Eh? Cricket?! That’s right sports fans. For the next few weeks, I’ll be following England’s willow-wielders and leather slingers on their travels down under, as they do battle against Australia in a war of wicket-taking wits for the contents of a glorified terracotta ash tray.
Obviously, with the time difference and this being a somewhat amateurish review, it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that I’ll doze off and miss key wickets/passages of play/post-match Australian interviews beginning with the phrase “Ah look…”. But I’ll do my best to provide a daily guide for those whose matchsticks fell out of their eyes soon after Gower, Warne and co arrived on their screens.
Who’s top of the Gabba ranks?
Despite Andrew Strauss’s disastrous early wicket, the game looked evenly balanced after the first two sessions – England enjoyed identical spells before and after lunch, knocking up 86 runs for two wickets in each. Things started looking pretty rosy in the Pom garden when Alaistair Cook and Ian Bell took the tourists to 197-4. But a spectacular Peter Siddle six-for helped the Aussies end the first day on a high. England’s 260 looks a very achievable target.
Stick another shrimp on the barbie: Peter Siddle
Easily the hosts’ most threatening bowler, Siddle registered his best ever Test figures (6-54) and became only the second Australian to take a hat-trick against England in the last 100 years (the last to achieve the feat was Shane Warne in Melbourne, 1994). It was his 26th birthday too. Could it have gone any better? Well, maybe someone could’ve bought him a new razor. The one he currently uses clearly struggles to tackle the fluff under his lower lip.
Invite to the Royal wedding: Ian Bell
Bell played beautifully for his 76, eventually hitting out with only tail-end support. He’s yet to score a ton against the Aussies, but displayed impeccable timing and seemingly unshakeable confidence here. On this evidence he’s certain to notch up at least one hundred in the series.
Commentator gaffe of the day:
David Gower on Matt Prior: “He’s a very handy man to have coming in at number seven. In the previous Ashes series he scored 261 runs.
“Oh, that’s er… come and gone in a hurry. Well bowled indeed, Peter Siddle. The off stump knocked back. Matt Prior bowled, first ball.”
Bumble brilliance:
Jimmy Anderson clearly fancies himself with the bat in hand. A handsome reverse sweep to Xavier Doherty’s left-arm swing certainly won David Lloyd’s approval: “Jim-my Anderson?! The Burnley roarer! They’ll be singing and dancin’ in Dickie Pinks’ in Burnley after that, I can tell yer!”
Close of play:
England 1st Innings – all out 260, 76.5 overs
Australia 1st innings – 25-0, 7.0 overs
Cultured Left Foot 